Been a little while...

So it has been a little while since I've posted- I'll chalk that up to a combination of being busy over the holidays and not really having much to say. Over the last few weeks I've done lots of visiting and have gotten to see some college friends that I haven't seen in quite awhile. There's been some trips to Nate's which usually include playing some Halo (aka- me getting my ass kicked online), a trip to Nanner's to just chill and make the chinchillas make noise, and a trip with Kyle to a party Dee was having. Kristina also made it after work, and it was great seeing both of them again. There was also a late night convo with Dee after she asked the question I've been hearing alot- how are you doing? It was this time, however, that I came to the realization that I don't know how to answer that question, because honestly I don't know. Apparently I've gotten so good at masking how I'm feeling that I'm not even quite sure how I'm feeling anymore. The best I can say is that after 3 weeks, I'm still just feeling numb to the whole thing. I try to keep myself as occupied as possible, but inevitably there is downtime where its just me and my thoughts, and that's when those pesky feelings start poking through. They result in a whole range of different emotions until I manage to push it all back down again.

The other predominant feeling that seems to be there almost all the time is loneliness. I would imagine this is normal- but I still don't like it. It'll go away while I'm hangin out with people, but usually as soon as I get back in the car to drive home, there it is- like its been sitting in the passenger seat waiting for me.

But anyway- enough of that... the holidays were fun. Lots of good times with family, shooting pool and playing Wii at my aunt and uncle's. Fun times New Years Eve as well- headed down to party it up with Frank, Emily, Geoff, Mark and Sarah. Fun times, fun people, and a hot tub... so you know all that adds up to a good night. And speaking of a good night, I'm looking forward to crawling into bed and drifting off- so it is time to say... good night